There is a lot of opinions about the pros and cons of bed sharing. One cannot be completely for bed sharing without acknowledging the risks just as those completely against it ignore the benefits of such arrangement. Leading pediatricians often have differing views on the subject and government agencies  seem to change their mind every five minutes (without conclusive scientific evidence to back them up). Ultimately it is, as it should be, a personal choice for the parents to make. Anyone who think parents are careless or un-thoughtful because they simply don’t follow the “flavor of the day” recommendation from a government official with some political agenda needs a lesson in humility (and usually a lesson in science as well).

Personally i fall on the side of favoring bed sharing WHEN BASIC SAFTEY RULES ARE FOLLOWED. Parents have been sleeping with their babies since time immemorial and most still do both in this and other countries at least occasionally. There is ample direct and anecdotal evidence for the benefits of bed sharing (see links below) including ease of breastfeeding, regulating the breathing of the baby, and improving physical and emotional development as well as the quality of bonding between baby and parents. If you are on the “British boarding school” side of the bonding debate – that is fine. Being somewhere in the middle is also fine. I chose to believe that love, positive reinforcement, and physical contact with your baby are never corrupting – no matter the dosage.  I find that this way of raising children does not produce any more selfish or self-centered children than alternative rearing methods and at the minimum is easier on the child.

If bed sharing is not for you, there is of course the option of room sharing.  This option has many of the benefits of bed sharing without the risks often quoted against bed sharing. Some cribs are especially designed to be attached to the bed so that the mother can easily reach the baby for feedings. See for example our post about  Arm’s Reach Mini Co-Sleeper Bassinet but there are of course many other similar cribs around.

If you are considering bed sharing understand the risks and make sure you follow common sense rules. You can find more professional advice in the links below but here is my 2 cent short list:

• Bed sharing accidents are usually associated with very young babies (especially younger than 4 months old). Use more caution and strict safety measures with younger babies.
• Have a co-sleeper or regular crib in the room as an option even if you are not regularly using it. Sometimes it is just good to get a break and be able to stretch a bit in bed.
• If you are very tired, took sleeping pills, cold medicine, alcohol or any drugs that would make you sleep too deep - let the baby sleep in the crib.
• When the baby is sleeping with you in bed have nothing on the mattress except a tight fitting bed sheet – not a blanket or a pillow. The room should not be too cold and you can wear heavier pajamas if you need to. As the baby gets a bit older (and can consciously push and move things to become more comfortable) you will sense when it is safe to add pillows and blankets.
•  Consider using a “sleeper” which is a baby mattress with a soft small raised “border” around it. We used it in the first weeks after she was born and it works as an extra protection and to keep her from rolling around. You can find them on amazon (for example, the Close and Secure Baby Sleeper. I could not find the one we actually used – but just be sure it is long enough for your baby. Ones that can elevate the head are also useful if your baby has reflux).
• Last, you can start with a co-sleeper or a regular crib in the room and let your baby spend more time in your bed as they get a bit bigger (a few months old).

Some good reads:

askdrsears.com
kidshealth.org
parenting.com
cosleeping.org
guideline.gov